I got a call from Santa’s Executive Admin Elf, Festivis, last February looking for some help with Santa’s conditioning during the off season. Apparently, after the Holidays, Santa has a problem keeping on his size.

I immediately put Santa on a 10,000 cal diet and started busting the fat man’s butt.

Santa explained that he had once slipped off a snow covered roof and was stuck hanging on the rain gutter. So we had him do dead hang pull-ups.

Near dawn, after a long night of distributing presents, Santa sometimes has a hard time getting his Jelly Belly up the chimney. Nothing 10 rope ascents wont cure.

Santa wasn’t ready for all the successive rope climbs and tossed his cookies. Dismayed that he lost 200 important calories, I had him chill out for a bit and spot me in the squat rack.

Even fatigued from a grueling workout Santa still manages to pull a Millennium Falcon out of his bag.

Project Santa was a success. Even while increasing work capacity through broad time and modal domains, Santa proved that it is possible to put on 30 pounds of crucial belly fat if you eat 10,000 cals of cookies & spiked hot cocoa every day.

Merry Christmas from Santa Clause’s exclusive workout center: Re-Active Gym/CrossFit Pleasanton.